Ritualistic

In a brief respite from politics, I’ve decided to turn on MTV…

And even though pretty much all of us dreaded it, it was only a matter of time before Paris Hilton got her own reality television show, right? However, it just so happens that the show she has is much more stomach turning than anyone has ever anticipated.

It’s called “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” and the premise is people must suck up to a girl they don’t even KNOW (Paris Hilton) in order to be her new “BFF” - which stands for “Best Friend Forever”. They have to perform meaningless tasks and entertain the heiress at every turn. They’re constantly being held under the microscope by her, and have to do whatever she says — including shed every bit of self respect they have. For ten weeks these “hopefuls” or “new BFFs”, as Paris calls them, revolve their lives around Paris Hilton while they live in, what Paris calls, “her dollhouse.” She even calls these contestants her living, breathing dolls and says that she “controls their every move.”

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A GIRL I WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH. WHERE DO I SIGN UP FOR THIS SHOW?

Please note that that’s sarcasm.

“Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” is a sickening display of people willing to do anything to be a “loyal pet” to a girl they’ve never met before. That’s right, I said “loyal pet” because that was one of the requirements Paris Hilton mentioned in the casting special.

Would this be a friendship or an ownership? Where are these peoples common sense? This is what Paris Hilton said she wanted in a BEST FRIEND, not just someone who is just a contestant on this reality show (wait, sorry, “it’s not reality — it’s actuality”, right MTV? Or is that truTV?). Does this “loyal pet” thing go both ways? Probably not — not with Paris Hiltons entitlement issues, and her attitude that “she makes the rules” (something she even said on the casting special).

And where is Paris Hilton’s common sense? (LOL, wait, sorry.. “Paris Hilton” and “common sense” in the same sentence — what an oxymoron). Doesn’t she know that these contestants will say and do anything to win this competition? They’ve all ready started to back stab each other on this show. And to further my point that they’ll do ANYTHING, in the second episode, “24 Hour Party Challenge”, Paris Hilton makes the contestants prepare a speech dedicated to her — where they did nothing but suck up, one of them even saying “I’ve waited a long time to feel your presence”… excuse me.. WHAT? Yuck.

How could these contestants really mean these wonderful things about Paris Hilton, a person who they don’t even really know?

Paris Hilton is a girl who they really spent no time with before, or even know much about (outside of how the media portrays her), except for the fact that she sadistically puts them through tests and labels her friends as “pets”.

I mean, really, couldn’t these people be… FAKING their words just to use Paris Hilton for who knows WHAT reason? (Fame, money, traveling)?

Either way!!! I’m glad that Paris Hilton’s time in jail really helped her grow as a person! She seems so much more in tuned with humans and not as shallow as she did before!

And if you can’t tell what I just said was sarcasm, then you are retarded — and SPEAKING of retards…

For those who had the misfortune of catching “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” on MTV.. someone tell me, is Onch NOT retarded? I honestly think there is something deeply WRONG with that contestant — and oddly enough, that’s shaping up to be one of Paris Hilton AND her mother’s FAVORITE contestant.

Says a LOT about these people, doesn’t it?

I’d also like to add that there is a whole “Onch Movement” — that I really don’t even CARE to look into. But apparently the most ANNOYING, most back stabbing character on the show is the one that people love the most… . . .

He’s not funny, he’s not cute, he has no style or class. The thing that he did with Baje’s toothbrush was gross (cleaning out the toilet with it), and he’s labeled a “drama queen” — all though I just label him mentally damaged.

Here is Onchs Youtube account to further prove my point: onchmovement’s Channel.

Anyway for more info. on this show, go to the MTVs site for it: Paris Hilton’s My New BFF | Reality Television Show Cast, Episode Guides, Trailers, After Show & Previews | MTV.

And if for some UNGODLY reason you want to get casted onto this show (if there should be a season 2), go here: MTV’s ParisBFF.com | Homepage.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 8:30 pm and is filed under Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.